Understanding Stress

INFORMATION FROM THE 'MIND' WEBSITE

What is stress?

We all know what it's like to feel stressed, but it's not easy to pin down exactly what stress means. When we say things like "this is stressful" or "I'm stressed", we might be talking about:

• Situations or events that put pressure on us – for example, times where we have lots to do and think about, or don't have much control over what happens.

• Our reaction to being placed under pressure – the feelings we get when we have demands placed on us that we find difficult to cope with.

"It's overwhelming. Sometimes you can't see beyond the thick fog of stress."

There's no medical definition of stress, and health care professionals often disagree over whether stress is the cause of problems or the result of them. This can make it difficult for you to work out what causes your feelings of stress, or how to deal with them. But whatever your personal definition of stress is, it's likely that you can learn to manage your stress better by:

• managing external pressures, so stressful situations don't seem to happen to you quite so often

• developing your emotional resilience, so you're better at coping with tough situations when they do happen and don't feel quite so stressed

Is stress a mental health problem?

Being under pressure is a normal part of life. It can help you take action, feel more energised and get results. But if you often become overwhelmed by stress, these feelings could start to be a problem for you.

Stress isn't a psychiatric diagnosis, but it's closely linked to your mental health in two important ways:

• Stress can cause mental health problems, and make existing problems worse. For example, if you often struggle to manage feelings of stress, you might develop a mental health problem like anxiety or depression.

• Mental health problems can cause stress. You might find coping with the day-to-day symptoms of your mental health problem, as well as potentially needing to manage medication, heath care appointments or treatments, can become extra sources of stress.

This can start to feel like a vicious circle, and it might be hard to see where stress ends and your mental health problem begins.

"[When I'm stressed] I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown."

Why does stress affect me physically?

You might find that your first clues about being stressed are physical signs, such as tiredness, headaches or an upset stomach.

There could be many reasons for this, as when we feel stressed we often find it hard to sleep or eat well, and poor diet and lack of sleep can both affect our physical health. This in turn can make us feel more stressed emotionally.

Also, when we feel anxious, our bodies release hormones called cortisol and adrenaline. (This is the body's automatic way of preparing to respond to a threat, sometimes called the 'fight, flight or freeze' response). If you're often stressed then you're probably producing high levels of these hormones, which can make you feel physically unwell and could affect your health in the longer term.

What are the signs of stress?

We all experience stress differently in different situations. Sometimes you might be able to tell right away when you're feeling under stress, but other times you might keep going without recognising the signs. Stress can affect you both emotionally and physically, and it can affect the way you behave.

"My head is tight and all my thoughts are whizzing round in different directions and I can't catch them."

How you might feel

• irritable, aggressive, impatient or wound up

• over-burdened

• anxious, nervous or afraid

• like your thoughts are racing and you can't switch off

• unable to enjoy yourself

• depressed

• uninterested in life

• like you've lost your sense of humour

• a sense of dread

• worried about your health

• neglected or lonely.

Some people who experience severe stress can sometimes have suicidal feelings. (See our pages on how to cope with suicidal feelings for more information.)

How you might behave

• finding it hard to make decisions

• constantly worrying

• avoiding situations that are troubling you

• snapping at people

• biting your nails

• picking at your skin

• unable to concentrate

• eating too much or too little

• smoking or drinking alcohol more than usual

• restless, like you can't sit still

• being tearful or crying.

How you might be physically affected

• shallow breathing or hyperventilating

• you might have a panic attack

• muscle tension

• blurred eyesight or sore eyes

• problems getting to sleep, staying asleep or having nightmares

• sexual problems, such as losing interest in sex or being unable to enjoy sex

• tired all the time

• grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw

• headaches

• chest pains

• high blood pressure

• indigestion or heartburn

• constipation or diarrhoea

• feeling sick, dizzy or fainting.

"[It feels like] the world is closing in on me, I can't breathe and I'm running out of time."

What causes stress?

Feelings of stress are normally triggered by things happening in your life which involve:

• being under lots of pressure

• facing big changes

• worrying about something

• not having much or any control over the outcome of a situation

• having responsibilities that you're finding overwhelming

• not having enough work, activities or change in your life

• times of uncertainty.

There might be one big thing causing you stress, but stress can also be caused by a build-up of small pressures. This might make it harder for you to identify what's making you feel stressed, or to explain it to other people.

"Lots of things stress me at the moment, mainly worries about my memory, as I'm a pensioner with nothing to do all day. Trying to fill my day is hard as I have arthritis so can’t walk too far."

Why do certain things make me feel stressed?

The amount of stress you feel in different situations may depend on many factors such as:

• your perception of the situation – this might be connected to your past experiences, your self-esteem, and how your thought processes work (for example, if you tend to interpret things positively or negatively)

• how experienced you are at dealing with that particular type of pressure

• your emotional resilience to stressful situations

• the amount of other pressures on you at the time

• the amount of support you are receiving.

We're all different, so a situation that doesn't bother you at all might cause someone else a lot of stress. For example, if you're feeling confident or usually enjoy public speaking, you might find that giving a speech in front of people feels comfortable and fun. But if you're feeling low or usually prefer not to be the centre of attention, this situation might cause you to experience signs of stress.

"I get stressed when things get out of perspective – too much work, thinking too far ahead."

What kind of situations can cause stress?

Stress can be caused by a variety of different common life events, many of which are difficult to avoid. For example:

Personal

• illness or injury

• pregnancy and becoming a parent

• bereavement

• long-term health problems

• organising a complicated event, like a group holiday

• everyday tasks such as travel or household chores.

Friends and family

• getting married or civil partnered

• going through a break-up or getting divorced

• difficult relationships with parents, siblings, friends or children

• being a carer for a friend or relative who needs lots of support.

Employment and study

• losing your job

• long-term unemployment

• retiring

• exams and deadlines

• difficult issues at work

• starting a new job.

Housing

• housing problems such as poor living conditions, lack of security or homelessness

• moving house

• problems with neighbours.

Money

• worries about money or benefits

• poverty

• debt.

"My breakdown [...] was due to having a stressful job as a project manager and dealing with a marriage break up and subsequent divorce."

Can happy events cause stress?

Some of the situations listed above are often thought of as happy events – for example, you might feel expected to be happy or excited about getting married or having a baby.

But because they can bring big changes or make unusual demands on you, they can still be very stressful. This can be particularly difficult to deal with, because you might feel there's additional pressure on you to be positive.

"I've never been more stressed in my life than the 6 months leading up to my wedding... everyone kept asking me if I was happy and expecting me to be excited all the time, but I just couldn't feel it. I ended up getting really ill."

How can I deal with pressure?

There are various steps you can take to cope with being under pressure. This page gives some tips that people have told us they find useful, but it's important to remember that different things work for different people. Only try what you feel comfortable with. For example:

IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS

Working out what triggers stress for you can help you anticipate problems and think of ways to solve them. Even if you can't avoid these situations, being prepared can help.

Take some time to reflect on events and feelings that could be contributing to your stress (you could do this on your own or with someone you trust). You could consider:

• Issues that come up regularly, and that you worry about, for example paying a bill or attending an appointment.

• One-off events that are on your mind a lot, such as moving house or taking an exam.

• Ongoing stressful events, like being a carer or having problems at work.

You might be surprised to find out just how much you're coping with at once. Remember that not having enough work, activities or change in your life can be just as stressful a situation as having too much to deal with.

ORGANISE YOUR TIME

Making some adjustments to the way you organise your time could help you feel more in control of any tasks you're facing, and more able to handle pressure.

• Identify your best time of day, and do the important tasks that need the most energy and concentration at that time. For example, you might be a morning person or an evening person.

• Make a list of things you have to do. Arrange them in order of importance, and try to focus on the most urgent first. Some people find creating a timetable useful so they can plan when they can spend time on each task. If your tasks are work related, ask a manager or colleague to help you prioritise. You may be able to push back some tasks until you're feeling less stressed.

• Set smaller and more achievable targets. When you're under a lot of pressure it's easy to set yourself large targets that are often unachievable. This can make you feel more stressed and if you don't reach them, it can make you feel disappointed and frustrated. Setting smaller more achievable goals can make you feel in more control and you can see your achievements more easily.

• Vary your activities. Balance interesting tasks with more mundane ones, and stressful tasks with those you find easier or can do more calmly.

• Try not to do too much at once. If you take on too much, you might find it harder to do any individual task well. This can make you feel like you have even more pressure on you.

• Take breaks and take things slowly. It might be difficult to do this when you're stressed, but it can make you more productive.

• Ask someone if they can help. For example, you could ask a friend or family member to help with some of your daily tasks so that you have more time to spend completing your tasks that are causing you to feel stressed.

ADDRESS SOME OF THE CAUSES

Although there will probably lots of things in your life that you can't do anything about, there might still be some practical ways you could to resolve or improve some of the issues that are putting pressure on you. You might find it helpful to read our information on:

Housing and finances

• housing and mental health

• money and mental health

• benefits

• insurance cover

Work and student life

• wellbeing at work

• discrimination at work (these pages explain your legal rights under the Equality Act)

• coping with student life

Family and personal life

• coping when supporting someone else

• coping as a parent with a mental health problem

• abuse

• addiction and dependency

ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CHANGE

It's not easy, but accepting that there are some things happening to you that you probably can't do anything about will help you focus your time and energy more productively.

"Sometimes I take a minute to 'reply' to my stressy thoughts... it's hard to be stressed when you've got things in perspective! Most of the things I worry about are either things I can't change or things which aren't earth-shatteringly important."